Holiday Malaise? Hmmm.

Indulge me for a moment, if you will. I would like for my few readers to participate in these questions, maybe posting your thoughts when done.  Here we go:

What would be the first holiday that you have memories of as a child? Christmas? Thanksgiving? or maybe a birthday?

Who did you share it with? What detail(s) stands out the most in that first memory? Person, place, or thing?

What was the emotion and how did you feel?

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If you participated, you should have recalled something that could be very important to you! Even if it was a negative experience, you remember it vividly for a reason. It had some impact on your life, whether minute or otherwise, that your brain decided it was worth keeping. That's what memories are for. To remind, to warn, to re-live, to educate, to scare, to warm the heart. It sounds sensational and, to some, it certainly is just that.

My first holiday memory is Thanksgiving 1973. I had just turned four years old and have some pretty vivid memories of our house during the season. The dark wood paneling indicative of a 1960's humble home. The sheets of asphalt flooring that was considered "chic" a couple of decades earlier. The thick metal blinds adorning every window in the house, the ones that would cut you if you weren't careful. The Ziegler Oil Heater in the dining room that would heat the entire house AND make a great place to heat up a kettle of water for tea or coffee. Extra chairs placed in the living room and dining room for all of the extra guests that would be dining with us and all of the good doilies and knickknacks placed out for our "company." Oh, and the "good" china, including all of the "good" silverware and stemware, had to be used.

It was the first time that I remember how large my family was. There were kids, some close to my age, even. Four grandparents, six aunts/uncles, a bevy of cousins, and even a neighbor that had nowhere to go to eat. Any of you that know the size of my house will realize what a feat this actually was! But we did it and it was spectacular.

Fast forward forty years.

This year, there are no grandparents. They passed away in 1985, 1992, 1994, and 2001. Out of six aunts/uncles, I have one left and she is fairly eccentric and anti-social (but still lovable). The cousins have either passed away or have very little contact with me. Even that neighbor has passed. With my mother and father now gone, my Thanksgiving is a stark contrast to that of my childhood. My home will be fairly empty this holiday. Just my dog and I, although she is pretty venerable (blind and deaf and almost seventeen years old.)

Should I be depressed or forlorn? Possibly, but that's not "how I roll".

And, does that mean I have nothing to be thankful for? 

Nay.

I have forty years of memories. A priceless commodity that I would not trade for anything. My memories and experiences have made me who I am and probably what I will continue to grow into. And I have learned so much, and I am thankful for life's lessons...

I am thankful for the love my parents had for me and for instilling strong familial bonds; not just with them, but family in general. 

I am thankful for the relatives that are still alive, even though I don't hear from them very often. We had great times when we were younger. (Memories, again.)

I am thankful for unseen blessings. You know, the things that God does behind the scenes and you don't realize it until much later in life. (Read: Unanswered Prayers).

And especially during this season, I am thankful for friendship and loved ones. Extended family, I call them. Welcomed me into their family, loved me, and treat me as family. There were hard times and drama, but don't you have that with family anyway? I treasure the memories that I have with them and the ones to come. They even made me the godfather of all of their children, four so far and one in the oven. (Keep them coming!)

So, I won't be here in Shawboro on Thanksgiving Day; the house will be empty. Guess where I will be? As always, I will be with family and loved ones. Isn't that what it's all about? Fellowship and giving thanks for all your blessings? Spending time with those that you care about and that return the sentiment?

I can tell you without any reservation, that I am blessed and thankful for my family. The one that I grew up with and the one that assimilated me into their ranks.

As I have said before, it may seem that I am alone in this world; but I most certainly am not.

<3

A. A.